So, whether through copious amounts of alcohol or just general numbness, the pain of the Round of 32 loss to Michigan State has finally faded. There's nothing else worthwhile on television for the next two weeks, and you're going to have to watch the rest of the tournament anyway to be able to join any conversations at the water cooler. What, you're going to do work instead? Please.
The remaining games are much more fun when you have a rooting interest, but who should you, dear broken-hearted Cavalier fan, root for? Let us break this down all scientific-like.
The Geographic Baseline
Virginia is going to be recruiting on 60 wins in the last two seasons. That should get Tony Bennett and crew in some doors that previously might have been closed but just in case, let's hope that the next national championship banner gets hoisted somewhere far from Charlottesville.
10 points each: Wichita State, Oklahoma, Utah, Arizona, Gonzaga, UCLA
8 points each: Xavier, Wisconsin, Notre Dame, Michigan State
6 points each: Duke, UNC, NC State, Kentucky, Louisville, West Virginia
The Conference Solidarity Modifier
Invariably the trash talking around basketball in the offseason will meander into conference strength, and another title in the conference is another bullet in the clip.
1 point each: Duke, UNC, Louisville, NC State and Notre Dame
The Evil Empire Modifier
The dreaded evil empires, programs so prominent that they seem to rival the Empire's dominance in Star Wars.
-2 points each: Kentucky and Duke
The Ancient Evil Empire Modifier
Programs that could be classified as evil empires once upon a time. Don't wake the sleeping giant.
-1 point each: UCLA and UNC
The "Been There Before" Corrollary
These schools have won the big one before, and need to give someone else a chance. Negative points based on the number of titles won.
-1 point: Wisconsin, Arizona, and Utah
-2 points: NC State and Michigan State
-3 points: Louisville
-4 points: Duke
-5 points: UNC
-8 points: Kentucky
-11 points: UCLA
Dude, We've Never Even Made it to the Final Four!
Good point.
2 points each: Gonzaga and Xavier
Football School Adjustment
Look, just pick one revenue sport to be good at.
-2 points each: Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Arizona
-1 point each: Utah, UNC, NC State, Duke, West Virginia, Oklahoma, Notre Dame, Louisville, and UCLA
1 point each: Wichita State, Xavier, and Gonzaga
Disappointed Family Member Bonus
I have a cousin that went to Arizona. She likes to brag. Oh, and guess what other school she roots for with equal fervor because my uncle went there?
-2 points each: Arizona and Duke
Make Virginia Look Good Bonus
Hey look, one of those teams we lost to won the national championship!
1 point each: Duke, Louisville, and UNC
Make Virginia Look Better Bonus
Hey, look, the team that knocked us out of the tournament went on to win it! or We beat the national champ in the regular season!
2 points: Michigan State, Notre Dame
Make Virginia Look Great Bonus
Hey, look, we beat the eventual national champions twice!
3 points: NC State
The Tom Izzo Factor
Didn't that team end our season the last two years?
-10 points: Michigan State
Final Verdict
Well, first of all, Hoo fans should not root for Kentucky or Michigan State under any circumstances.
So, after taking a purely scientific look at the matter, Virginia fans should throw their support behind the Bulldogs of Gonzaga. Xavier and Wichita State are the second choice, with Notre Dame in fourth.