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The Cavaliers took on Ball St last weekend and it went about as well as we could all have hoped for. It all broke UVa's way! Passes were completed! Penalties were avoided! Wait, that's not what happened? OF COURSE IT ISN'T! THIS IS UVA! WHY WOULD A TEAM LIKE VIRGINIA FROM THE ACC BEAT A TEAM LIKE BALL ST?
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As we all know, the mouth breathers to the North are bolting for the Big Ten next year because they were basically getting tired of being beaten by everyone in basketball. They also seem to be mad that UNC and Duke get a lot of attention. I don't get it. They're certainly a bunch of smart ones up there.
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Enjoy losing to Iowa St., MORONS!
Anyways, this week they are really excited to get to take on what they see as an extremely weak opponent (can't really blame them)(even though they lost 63-LOLOLOLz last week).
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Hoos get the ball and look good on offense. Watford is throwing screens to Smoke. Watford is throwing screens to Dominique Terrell. And Watford is completing screens to Jake McGee, until they hit the Maryland 30, decide to not run a screen, and Watford throws a ball into quadruple coverage in the endzone for an INT.
Maryland takes the ball and marches down the throat of the UVa defense by giving the ball to Stefon Diggs 20 times. Watford turns to Coach London.....
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But things get brighter as the half progresses. Watford completes passes, Parks runs dives like a wild man, and the offensive line figures out how to use their hands and stop the Terps' defensive line. Hoos head into the half only down 13-7.
The Hoos come out ready to throw down in the second half. Maryland isn't the type of team that the VIRGINIA CAVALIERS LOSE TO!
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It starts going right and the Maryland Mouth Breathers start committing dumb penalties (imagine that, Maryland fans/players doing something dumb!). Cavaliers take advantage by scoring TD after TD. Hoos run away with the game and win 31-16.
After the game we all wave longingly to never having to go back to College Park for a football game.....EVER......AGAIN.
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We (at least me) would like to give a warm, kind, loving message to the Maryland football team, wishing them well in their future endeavors against Ohio St, Wisconsin, Nebraska, and Michigan..... 
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