clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Week 12 .gif Preview: VPISU Edition

The final regular season game of the year is upon us. Can the Hoos win and go bowling? Will they succumb the stench of cow feces in the air of Blacksburg?

With renewed confidence from the admin, Coach London looks to lead his team to Hokieland to win the Cup.
With renewed confidence from the admin, Coach London looks to lead his team to Hokieland to win the Cup.
Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

So last week was a bit of a surprise. UVa played an almost all around game and capitalized on an opponent's mistakes! It was beautiful! And then we get the surprise that no matter what Coach London will be at the helm again next year! Yaiiiiiii!!!!

But this week. This week, is #HateWeek. The damn ingrates to the SouthWest have decided that they still want to play football after losing in a duel to......Wake Forest. (Granted, history shows I can't blame them). What football team shows up? The one that played Wake Forest last week? The one that played Miami last week? The team that lost to Duke or the team that beat Duke in Durham? Let's find out......But first, let's watch BeamerFace dance

Hoos lose the toss. It's ok, this game is about defense anyways. Nobody wants either team to be on offense. VPISU moved their former defensive lineman to replace Michael Brewer this week, so he gets in the shotgun formation. 

It's ok. He goes 3 and out. Hokies punt to Khalek Shepherd. KHALEK, STAY ON THE FIELD, DAMMIT.

Hoos pick up a first down on their drive, but then punt. This back and forth goes on for two quarters. Hoos finally drive into VPISU territory at the end of the half before stalling thanks to two draws and a screen pass. UVa settles for a Field Goal to take a 3-0 lead into half!

Remember how the first half was terrible football? Yea, same shit, different half. Eventually, the Hokies defense is able to step in front of a Lambert pass and pick it off in UVa territory. It's ok though, they don't know how to move the ball either, settling for a FG to tie it up 3-3. At this point, UVa fans have the big screen on the basketball game and the PIP screen on the football game. The rest of America flips it over to Say Yes to the Dress.

Eventually the Hokie defense messes up. Kevin Parks takes a dive and bounces outside. WIDE RECEIVERS ARE BLOCKING! PARKS RUMBLES 45 TO THE HOUSE! UVA LEADS 10-3!

UVa forces a later fumble to set up another FG to PUSH THE LEAD TO 10! UVA FANS CAN TASTE THE SWEET SWEET TASTE OF VICTORY! JUST RUN THE CLOCK OUT!!!! JUST DON'T....fumble. Instead of just running dives with Kevin Parks, Hoos run an end around and botch the pitch. Hokies take over, score a TD, and only trail by 3. 

Hokies line up for the onside kick. London thought they were kicking it deep. CALLS A TIMEOUT (thank god he still had one). UVa puts the onside kick team out and THEY RECOVER IT! UVA PUTS TWO KNEES ON THE GROUND AND WINS THE FOOTBALL GAME!!!! THEY WON A FREAKING FOOTBALL GAME AGAINST VPISU! MIKE LONDON IS ON THE GROUND CRYING! LUNCH PAIL MAN IS CRYING! HOKIE FANS ARE THROWING STUFF ON THE FIELD AND BOOING THEIR TEAM OFF THE FIELD! ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD AGAIN!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ahhhhhhh, suck it, Hokies.