It has finally arrived. Today, people around the country will flock to theaters to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I saw it last night, and HOLY CRAP, Y'ALL...IT'S AMAZING. In honor of the seventh installment of this epic saga, I started thinking, who would our players and some notable conference foes most resemble from the franchise?
Special thanks to Cavs Corner's Brad Franklin, who was my expert resource on all details Star Wars!
*Disclaimer - in making comparisons to Star Wars characters, I am not saying I think anyone is actually a droid, evil, or able to take on the GALACTIC EMPIRE*
Chewbacca: Malcolm Brogdon
This has nothing to do with hair, as Uncle Malcolm is one of the few Wahoos this season with a "normal" 'do. Instead, this comparison is based on his ability to get stuff done. Chewy is crucial to the team. He's rarely flashy, but he takes care of business, and you definitely do NOT want to mess with him (he'll drop 20+ points on you, or make your life miserable defensively). He's got a pretty diverse set of skills, whether fixing spaceships or helping on rescue missions.
C3PO: Mike Tobey
He's nice, he's helpful, and he's got good post moves. He may not be the most athletic/flexible on the team, but he gets the job done. I mean check out the moves of C3PO...I can almost guarantee he's got a sick sky hook.
R2-D2: London Perrantes
Think about it. He's reliable, he's handy, and when he needs to, he can spill a bunch of oil on the floor and light it on fire to combat a group of enemies. That's basically what he did in the second half against West Virginia...
R2 was the king of assists, and helped the group get out of some tricky situations. Oh, and he's just so cool. Nothing rattles him, not even blowing up the
Death Duke Star.
Boba Fett: Darius Thompson
Darius came from the far away land, much like his Mandalorian counter part. Ok, he's actually from Tennessee, but still. He's a sharp-shooter, and he's been hunting rims all season. You can't deny he's got style.
Han Solo: Anthony Gill
If this was based on amounts of hair and height, AG would have been Chewy, no question. But, I make the rules, and I say he's Han. Anthony is known for his sense of humor and pranks, and he's just cool. He is one of the protagonists in college basketball, and I'm guessing he could do the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs.
Think you're going to beat him on the offensive boards?
Some have critiqued Anthony's defense, but that's nonsense.
Basically Han is pretty awesome, and definitely a fan favorite.
Luke Skywalker: "Casual" Basketball Fans
Look. I get it. Luke is the protagonist... but dang. He's a big time whiner. While fans drive the game, they also wear on you as the season goes. Basically, when I hear "bad for basketball", this is all I hear:
Also applies to: Seth Davis, Jay Bilas
Darth Vader: Coach K
Ok, ok. K was initially going to be Luke because of his ability to complain to the refs like no other, but let's be honest. If you have a 'villain' in the ACC, you have to choose K Also fits as he definitely has a lot of redeeming qualities, and although he's the antagonist, he brings good things to the
Empire Conference in the end.
"What do you mean that was a charge, Jamie Luckie?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Tony Bennett
This was relatively easy. Coach Bennett is the leader of the team, teaching his young Padawans the way of the
Force Pack Line. Master of his feelings, he'll give you the instruction you need... but you better get your defense together if you want to become a Jedi.
DO NOT think that because Tony Bennett is Obi-Wan and K is Vader means that Darth Vader will prevail... just heroes and villains y'all.
Yoda: Dick Bennett
Taught young Tony the ways of the Pack Line. Don't play tough defense?
Ewoks: The Green Machine
There when you need them. Excellent celebrators. Totally adorable.
Storm Troopers: Syracuse's Trevor Cooney and Florida State's Xavier Rathan Mayes
They just keep shooting... and missing.
Maryland's Jake Layman is a B1G Honorable Mention
Admiral Ackbar: Jack Salt
It's a (post) trap!
Emperor Palatine: Barry Alvarez
No, Barry. Tony doesn't want to come to the Dark Side. He's happy in Charlottesville.
Who did I miss? Who did I mess up?
(Gifs from Giphy and Gifmania)