Charlottesville is a wonderful place. I don't think I need to spend 750 words describing that to you fine people.
Twitter is also a wonderful place. Some of you might not know this, but I suspect that many of you are probably on the Twitter machine already and will agree with this. (Note: Twitter is also a terrible place, but that's not the subject of this piece.)
I don't get down to Charlottesville much. OK, that's a lie. I'm actually in Charlottesville a lot. Regardless, when I'm in C'ville, I like to eat, well, basically everything. The problem, as I outlined in a tweet earlier today, is that there is unfortunately a limited number of hours available to you in a day.
Hello, Charlottesville. How many meals can I have in the next 8 hours if I stay dedicated to the cause and have dinner plans at 8?— StreakingTheLawn.com (@TheUVAFool) July 24, 2015
By then, I had already had two meals. Chick-fil-A on my way driving down to Charlottesville from DC, and then Marco and Luca's dumplings once I got into town. I had also bought a lemonade and a coffee from Java Java downtown. I thought I was doing a great job.
David Storm decided to respond to my tweet, questioning my dedication to the cause.
I am dedicated. I truly am. I want to eat literally all the food from all the restaurants in Charlottesville. Literally.
Then Order Up responded.
I was a little concerned because I didn't realize there was any sort of challenge going on. I just wanted to eat. Like, a lot, but generally speaking, I just wanted to eat. So, just to make sure I wasn't going to get anything crazy, I specifically requested a smoothie. And sure enough, they told me it was en route.
Still, I couldn't tell if they were kidding or not until two ladies were walking down the Downtown Mall with a pizza box. I didn't think anything of it, other than, "man, that looks like a big pizza," until I saw one of them was holding a smoothie. They also looked like they were looking for someone. Oh crap, and they're wearing Order Up shirts.
That's when this happened:
Two lovely ladies from Order Up -- Leigh and Emily -- showed up with this massive ...24-inch? 26-inch? pizza (and a smoothie!) because, as they put it, they "don't take food challenges lightly!" The pizza was from Benny Deluca's on the Corner and it was more than any one man should ever eat.
...or was it??
Just kidding. I did not even attempt to eat the entire monstrosity. After all, I need to watch my figure as we head into football season and you all think about other terrible food challenges for me to accept.
I did, however, get the chance to meet lots of friends on the Downtown Mall. Like Eduardo, who, as a true champion, managed to wolf down two slices before my very eyes.
There was also one gentleman whose name I missed, but who had the best 5-week old puppy ever. Named cash. He ate a slice of pizza while I took the leash ad played with puppy for a little while. That was well worth the trade in my book.
I also met the owner of Ike's Underground, a little shop downstairs of Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar that sells various odds and ends kind of things. They have some new UVA sports collectibles from the 70s, in case anyone is interested.
I also met two individuals who decided to share one slice between the two of them. Before the pizza arrived, they were eating Utz Cheese Curls and Little Debbie Honey Buns for lunch. That...was a sight.
To the guys eating cheese curls and honey buns and drinking the tallboys of canned Starbucks…you da real MVP. pic.twitter.com/uYg9TwUgAs— StreakingTheLawn.com (@TheUVAFool) July 24, 2015
(Please don't sue me for taking a picture of you.)
A couple folks who appears to be homeless came up and grabbed slices as well, which was perfect. They mostly kept to themselves though, and I didn't get a chance to talk to them much.
Lastly, I ate a slice. Sorry to all my CrossFit and paleo bros. Except I'm not sorry.
So, THANK YOU, Order Up, for arranging this impromptu pizza party on the Downtown Mall, for letting me meet lots of new people who I wouldn't otherwise have, and for of course feeding me this afternoon. (You all were super quick, too!)
This isn't a sponsored post, and they didn't ask for me to write this. But they did give me a free pizza and smoothie. So the least I could do was recount this awesome experience as part of something that makes Charlottesville just straight up magical.