Welcome to college football. Over the next 14 or so weeks, you’re going to be following every block, tackle, pick, touchdown, and punt of the Virginia Cavaliers, and there’s no better place to do that than right here on Streaking the Lawn. We’ve got an all-star crew of writers, podcasters, and lawyers — so many lawyers — on our team, and if you haven’t been paying attention over the years, you may have missed out on some of the changes.
First, a little bit about us. Most of us are Virginia grads who never actually left Charlottesville (in spirit). The eldest among us graduated from the University in 2000, while the youngest is but a wee baby second year. Other than those of who are still in school, the rest of us have real life, professional jobs, most of which are outside the world of journalism.
Second, a little bit about the site. It’s been around since 2009, which effectively makes us dinosaurs in today’s world of fly-by internet journalism. What makes us really cool though, is that at the end of the year, we take the year’s worth of ad revenue, incentives, stipends, and any other change we can find between the cushions, and whatever we have left, we donate to a charity of interest to the University or Charlottesville communities. Pretty cool, right?
You can follow us on Twitter at @STL_UVA.
Finally, about us, your awesome 14-person team that has you covered on all things Virginia Athletics.
Walk-Up Song: Ginuwine - Pony
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bellair - Ednam
I’m the guy writing this piece, so I get to go first. I started this bad boy in 2009 and have been running it ever since. By happenstance, I am also a lawyer for Vox Media, that sexy media company that owns SB Nation, which owns Streaking the Lawn, which owns my soul. You’ll often find me tweeting about things like CrossFit, weightlifting, bourbon, and Arby’s meats. Contrary to swirling rumors, I do not regularly put peanut butter on my broccoli.
Walk-Up Song: Don Henley - Boys of Summer
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Littlejohn’s - Wild Turkey
Will was the first sucker to join me on this quest, and he just hasn’t been able to quit since. No literally, he tries to resign on an hourly basis, but NO ONE QUITS. NO ONE LEAVES. Will was technically on Virginia’s 2009 College World Series team, and he even bought one of those fancy CWS rings off one of the actual UVA players in order keep his schtick. He is also technically a lawyer, though he lives in South Carolina and we’re not entirely sure whether there are even rules down there. You’ll find Will’s byline behind most things baseball, and anything that has a jaded, pessimistic tone to it.
Walk-Up Song: Jay Z - Empire State of Mind
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bodo’s - Everything with Lox
Schwartz spends most of his days at T*****y on the Corner drinking with his Darden classmates. He writes about basketball more than anything else. He’s passionate about tempo-based stats and believes that numbers should only be used when they actually make sense. If you really want to get him worked him, just mention these things: Colin Kaepernick, Gaza, Seth Greenberg.
Walk-Up Song: Jason Isbell - Decoration Day
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bodo’s - Deli egg with provolone on everything
Wiley is also a lawyer -- the kind that will actually see a courtroom some day, even! Yes, we needed three lawyers on our staff to protect us. He’s a Michigan fan first, but will also root on the Hoos, having grown up in Charlottesville and also graduated from UVA. Coming from a completely unbiased point of view, he strongly believes that offensive linemen should be considered skill players as well.
Walk-Up Song: Warren G ft Nate Dogg - Regulate
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bodo’s - Bacon and egg on PLAIN bagel
Darns originally came on to cover all things lacrosse, but she had too many hot takes to contain it to just one sport. Now, she’ll cover it all, and actually works full time as one of SB Nation’s College League Managers, which means that if one of our SBN brethren are out of line, she’s there to whip them into shape. Off the record, she plans on deleting the Testudo Times blog altogether (even if not on purpose).
Walk-Up Song: Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Littlejohn’s - Blue Max
Our resident golf expert who writes about the golf team about three times a year, we’re not sure why we keep Trogs around other than his great looks and charming personality.
Walk-Up Song: Ja Rule - Livin’ It Up
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bellair - Ednam
Alex is an actual and literal wizard. He’s the one who puts together THE COLUMN every week, because he’s the only one who can make fancy graphics and what not. Alex is also a full time Vox Media employee working in the Vox Creative group, which means that he actually gets paid for being said wizard.
Walk-Up Song: 50 Cent & The Game - Hate It or Love It
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Littlejohn’s - Chipotle Chicken
The resident gambler of the group, Ellis will be giving you a weekly take on what Vegas is predicting around the ACC, and will tell you where to place your bets. Unfortunately for both you and Ellis, he doesn’t run a great track record. Ellis is up in New York these days at business school, because he thinks that he should get paid to tell other people what to do.
Walk-Up Song: Diarrhea Planet - Separations
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Lampo - Porchetta
Pierce doesn’t actually “write” per se. Instead he uses his vocal talents to run the weekly Streaking the Lawn, where he and one or two other STL team members hop on the mic and spitball about UVA sports once a week -- sometimes with a guest and sometimes to themselves. Because he lives in Charlottesville, Pierce thinks he’s better than the rest of us.
Walk-Up Song: Fugazi - Waiting Room
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Littlejohn’s - The Sampson
Yet another STL member who’s up here in DC, Hobeck is the king of oral history. When not on STL, you can find him working at a local DC paper that beings with Wa and ends in Po. He’s a plagued DC sports fan, so go easy on him.
Walk-Up Song: TI - Bring ‘Em Out
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bodo’s - Smoked Turkey Breast with Swiss on Sesame
A firm believer of manipulating numbers to tell whatever story you want, Danny is our resident stats guy who will keep track of all the most obscure numbers you’ve ever wished or even not wished for. Follow him on Twitter if you love Cleveland sports.
Walk-Up Song: Smashing Pumpkins - Cherub Song
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bodo’s - Roast Beef on Everything
Ryan is the only one of this entire group that I’ll vouch for as an actual good person. Ryan and I go way back to our undergrad days and camping out at U Hall for basketball. Now, Ryan covers baseball, football, basketball..all of the balls for Streaking the Lawn.
Walk-Up Song: Pink Floyd - Welcome to the Machine
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Littlejohn’s - Chris Long
Our X’s and O’s guy, “Tiki” (no relation) gives you the most in-depth research on UVA football and basketball you’ll find on the internet. You want match-ups? He’ll get you match-ups. You want predictions? Yup, got those too. The only real down side to Tiki (who graduated in the first class at UVA) is that he lives in Maryland — seriously, Tiki, what are you doing?
Walk-Up Song: Kanye West - Power
Favorite C’ville Sandwich: Bellair - Farmington
Last but not least, our newest member of the STL crew, Luketheintern! Luke is a current second year at UVA which means he has no idea what we’re talking about when we are talking about the devil’s nectar like bourbon and PBR. Luke is on board to give you all the recruiting news you wish to handle, and to explain to the rest of us olds what things like “snap chat” are.