Streaking The Lawn’s Preseason ACC Football POWER RANKINGS

That’s right. The season is finally upon us. It’s no longer 152 degrees in the southeast. There is a crispness in the air. Pumpkin spice lattes as far as the white girls can see. And Clemson remains at the top of the Power Rankings.

Whatever.

Let’s get into it.

1. Clemson Tigers (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. GT

At this point, nothing matters in the world anyways.

2. Miami-Florida Hurricanes (0-1, 0-0).

Last game: Loss 24-20 vs. Florida Gators. Next Game: at UNC

To say that game was “ugly” is a disservice to the word ugly. The American public came away not sure if Miami is really bad, if Florida is bad, or if neither team knows how to tackle literally anyone. Miami’s QB, Jarren Williams, had a respectable first half and then struggled mightily in the second, but that is to be expected of a Freshman making his first start on the big stage.

3. Syracuse Orange (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: at Liberty

I personally hope Cuse gets 8 home games against Liberty for this one trip to the Holy Land, where they employee disgraced coaches and Athletic Directors that certainly embody the Christian spirit. More to come when UVa plays them in November.

4. Florida State Seminoles (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. Boise State (in Jacksonville)

If Boise upsets FSU Willie Taggert might start packing his office as soon as the bus gets back to Tallahassee. Not that that’s fair, but it is what it is. This No. 4 ranking is probably based more off of name recognition than actual expectations since nobody knows what FSU is going to do this year. 7-5? Sure. 10-2? Who knows.

5. Virginia Cavaliers (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: at Pittsburgh

We’ve never been more excited about a football season during my time with STL. That means a 4-8 season is coming. Gird your loins accordingly.

6. Virginia Tech Hokies (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: at Boston College

Some think VT could be a top 20 team. Some think the Hokies could go 6-6 and scratch into a bowl. Point is, this is Justin Fuente’s 4th season at the helm and nobody knows what to expect.

7. N.C. State Wolfpack (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. East Carolina

The Wolfpack should start off the season 5-0 (vs. ECU, vs. Western Carolina, at WVU, vs. Ball State, vs. FSU) and expectations would likely be through the roof. Their crossover this season is GT, so outside of their games against Syracuse and Clemson, there isn’t a game they shouldn’t be favored in.

8. Pittsburgh Panthers (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. UVa

Pitt won the Coastal in 2018 by default and lost a significant amount of talent this offseason. This game isn’t a must win for the Panthers, but with two of their out of conference games against UCF and Penn State, Pitt is going to need to win all their close games to get to six and a bowl.

9 (tie). Boston College Eagles (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. VaTech

BC ended last year at with a 7-5 record and No. 63 in the S&P+. Starting off the season against a conference opponent probably isn’t ideal but the Eagles are only 4.0 underdogs. BC could pull off an upset.

9 (tie). Wake Forest Demon Deacons (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. Utah State

I know literally nothing about Wake heading into this season other than they won their bowl game 37-34 over Memphis last December and they’re 3.5 pt favorites this week against Utah State. Vegas has an O/U of 62.5, so the game sounds pointsy at least.

11. Duke Blue Devils (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. Alabama (in Atlanta)

No more Daniel Jones. Not that that meant much previously anyways. Harry Cutcliffe Potter starts against the Death Machine, so Duke is 0-1.

12. North Carolina Tar Heels (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. South Carolina Gamecocks (in Charlotte)

I often wonder what it would be like for a team to hire a coach that hasn’t coached in 5+ years and is 60+. Not to mention a re-tread at the school. I guess UNC is trying to capture all that nostalgia for Mack Brown winning the title game with Vincy Young in....(checks notes)....2006. You know when the kids he is now recruiting were three or four.

13. Louisville Cardinals (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: vs. Notre Dame

I’d feel bad for Louisville and the dumpster fire Bobby Petrino left them, but they hired Bobby Petrino in the first place, and as an Atlanta Falcons fan, you deserve everything you get for doing that.

14. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (0-0, 0-0).

Next Game: at Clemson

I personally would not be surprised if Geoff Collins has Waffle House stock. The man can’t go an entire interview without mentioning it. We get it, you’re trying to make GT Atlanta’s school, but pump the brakes a little bit.