It’s finally here. For the past several weeks, your eyeballs have been assaulted with endless campaign advertising interrupting your football viewing. It’s all you see on Twitter interrupting the steady flow of being MAD ONLINE. Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram has been nothing short of an onslaught of VOTE NOW reminders, even though you voted weeks ago already.
To be clear, if you haven’t voted, you should close this article right now and get out there and make sure your voice is heard.
But after all that, we’ve finally made it to Election Day, and while we probably won’t get a final outcome tonight, many of you will be counting down the hours until election returns coverage begins.
To help you pass the time until returns, here’s a list of eight things you can do to pass the time.
1. Stream Unbelievable: Virginia’s Improbable Path to a Title, again
This literally never gets old, and it’s available for on-demand streaming from ESPN through your local cable provider — and I believe that even includes if you have Xfinity, which doesn’t carry the ACC Network. Save this one for a little bit later in the day when you’re ready for a shot of adrenaline, hope, happiness, promise, etc.
2. Buy some of our new officially licensed gear!
This is a shameless promotion to get some commission dollars out of you, but honestly, who doesn’t love a little therapeutic shopping to get us through the day? You get the joy today of clicking the BUY button, and then in a few days you get the satisfaction all over again of opening up a package! Some of the latest designs here, or you can just buy THE STANDARD below!
3. Watch this oddly mesmerizing video.
One of those videos where you just find yourself watching for 10 minutes and you have no idea where the time went. The best note in the comments below was:
The music in the background: hooOOOOhuuUUUUahhhAHHHHHuhhhhUUUUUUUIhoooooOOOOOO
4. Speaking of mesmerizing, don’t go breaking my heart
Will shared this in our Slack room last night and I couldn’t stop watching it. And then I shared it with a bunch of people. And then they couldn’t stop watching it. I’ve already watched it once this morning. Just follow this reddit link and enjoy the fact that every human is so very talented. Also where does one find a mirror that’s custom built for your face?
5. Revisit some of our old April Fool’s posts
We’ve had fun over the years coming up with April Fool’s post—specifically former STL writer Brian Schwartz has come up with some highly entertaining ones to enjoy. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you awkwardly cringe at the sad underlying truths behind the story. Either way, you won’t be thinking about the impending doom of the election results. Oops, sorry.
- Giant statue of Tony Bennett to be erected in Scott Stadium
- Bronco Mendenhall demolishes Scott Stadium, will rebuild “when team earns it”
- Virginia Head Coach Mike London Receives Contract Extension, Raise
- NCAA Final Four Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest
- Virginia to shut down football, basketball programs to focus on “sports that matter”
- Cav Man announces decision to transfer
- NCAA officials issue joint apology to Virginia Basketball for not calling enough fouls on opponents
6. Vote in this Poll
I know, I know, the last thing you want is another request to vote. But please, for the sanity of your Streaking the Lawn staff, we need you to help us out here on this hotly debated topic.
Which is the best season?
This poll is closed
This may seem simple, but there are so many factors that go into it. Consider both the highs and the lows when thinking about temps. Consider what activities can be done when. Consider maybe the holidays within each season. Flowers. Sunshine. Leaves. Snow. Allergies. Heat. Pumpkin. Cold. Consider it all.
7. Go clean your house
Turn off the computer for a little bit. Go clean your kitchen, your bathrooms, that couch that you’ve been sitting on for the past seven months with no excuse to clean because you don’t have people coming over anymore. Frankly, your house is a disaster and you’re probably getting pretty filthy. Have you gone nose blind? When was the last time you freshened up? You know you have more than one pair of sweats you could be wearing, right? Would it kill you to tidy up a little here and there along the way instead of just letting mail pile up? Honestly.
That’s largely a note to self. You guys are probably fine because you’re functioning members of society. So you can disregard this one.
8. Start drinking a lot of wine and bourbon. It’s not yet noon at the time of publish, but it’s probably a good idea to get a nice warm base layer of alcohol into you so that you don’t go out the gates too hot later on tonight. Pace yourself to only 1-7 per hour between now and when returns start coming in, and then you can slowly ramp up from there.
Legal says we can’t say this.
So there you have it!
Eight Seven things you can do between now and the end of the day to pass the time. Happy Election Day everyone, stay safe, and go vote.