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Trash Talkin’ TJ sees an opportunity against Duke

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Also, Trash Talkin’ TJ is low on booze and his house guests won’t leave.

Duke v Northwestern Photo by David Banks/Getty Images

Dear Sirs,

Huzzah! The investment of our university’s gridiron inhabitants in their improvement has most happily yielded a great dividend! I trust the Central Michigan Normal School and Business Institute will not easily forget the setback they suffered at the hands of the bold and noble Cavaliers. I regaled my guests with dramatic readings of each recounting of this most glorious triumph on which I could lay my eyes, repeatedly, in no small part to drive them into seeking another residence to haunt with their company, as my own stocks of wine and cider have been most seriously depleted by their continued presence. Unfortunately, they have announced their intent to experience the onset of autumn from my mountain-top home in spite of my best efforts to persuade them that such onset is best absorbed elsewhere.

I have read that this week, our students go forth to engage the squad from the Union Institute Academy in Trinity, North Carolina. It is commonly said that the state of North Carolina is “a valley of humility between two mountains of conceit”, but I can most assuredly guarantee that the supporters of the Blue Devils are not the finest example of this pithy statement in action. In fact, I can scarcely recall any such group more impressed with themselves and willing to share it with others to great length, outside of some aged institutions in the New England country.

My confidence in our fellows is high, as I understand a goodly portion of our opponent’s team has elected to spend their Saturday in the infirmary. As always, I implore our leadership to impress upon their charges the immediacy of the moment and the urgency with which they must seize the opportunity before them. This past week was a most joyous one even under thoroughly disagreeable weather, and I do yearn for such feelings among the Virginia faithful to continue.

I remain,

Thomas Jefferson